I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
