so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
