So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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