What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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