just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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