She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
