i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
