Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
There's always time for handjobs
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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