I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
