I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
