yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
