I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
