I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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