well you can't waste a boner
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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