I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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