just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
