Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
