some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
