The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
