Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
