went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
