wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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