u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
