Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
