do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
