Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
