Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
