It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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