i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
