I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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