Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
