So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
