after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
