But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
