Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
