This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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