hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
