Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
