Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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