OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm getting married
To pizza
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
