Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
