I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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