Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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