We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
