Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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