That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
as a side note pls kill me
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
