Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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