it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
