i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Randomize
