Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
