I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
