somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
