Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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