Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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